Motivation...draining...talking...in...ellipses....

I've been slacking off on my exercise program lately, and eating significantly more garbage than usual.  No wonder I feel crummy.  Trying to get psyched up to hop on the treadmill is like trying to get motivated to clean my office:  Daunting.  Wish me luck.

Discussion Question--Culinary Edition

This week's discussion question is brought to you by the letter "pig" and the fact that I haven't eaten yet today.

What is your favorite pork recipe?

Dumbest Statement Ever

...so I've been taking these pills I got at the Dollar Store...

Think about that for a minute.  Just think, and feel the pain spreading over your brain.  That is the pain of millions of little neurons crying. 

Thought I'd share.

Knife Update

My baby Normark seems to be settling in very nicely as a pocketknife, comfortable in the pocket, holds a good edge, convenient.  And just in time, too, as my favorite beer just went back to pry-off cap.  It's nice to have a dedicated bottle opener again.

Discussion Question

I think we've all noticed Yankee John's conspicuous abscence from last week's Discussion Question.  Now, we know YJ's done some dumb stuff in his life but apparently he's forgotten about most of it.

So, gentle readers, I ask you to help YJ remember.  What's the dumbest thing he's ever done?

(Jenny should have some great input for this one)

Who's Evolved?

Who's Evolved?

I had a really rough day at work today, what my colleagues and I refer to as a “beat-down”. 

What is a “beat-down” you ask?  It's a day where you can't get ahead of the work.  A day when no matter how fast you go, no matter how hard you push, the world just pushes back harder and faster.  It doesn't matter how good you are, or what your team brings to the table.  You're outmatched.  Outgunned.  Outmaneuvered.  Overwhelmed.

Or, as the rock'n'roll DJ's used to say....”The hits just keep on coming!!!”  

[insert a lot of whining about why my day was so hard]

It was the kind of day that makes you want to go out for a few drinks to help you forget it, or maybe just kick the dog when you get home.

None of my boyeez were available for drinks at the local watering hole.

The dog is far to cute for kicking.

So I settled down to a turkey dinner* and put in whatever Netflix had delivered most recently; which turned out to be The Dog Whisperer.  For about an hour and a half, I watched Cesar Millan deal with various awful dog owners, all while pretending to be working on their dogs.  One phrase kept running through my mind.  It was a quote from^ a Ben Stiller movie: 

“Who's Evolved?”^^

Teddy Roosevelt uses it to show Larry Daley that “fairness” --that idiotic doctrine we all learned in kindergarten—doesn't apply to us.  It only applies to people who aren't as good as us.  We*** are not subject to the rules of fairness.  We are required to give more than we get.  We must accept each new challenge in good spirits and strive to overcome.  We must understand when others who aren't as well-equipped fall short of our standards.  We may strive to help those others improve, but we must be willing to accept their best efforts, even if those efforts are insufficient.  

Or, to paraphrase Pratchett:  to be the best, you have to be the best.  Every damn day.

Don't like it?  Don't want to put in the effort?  That's OK.  The rest of us understand. 

*left in the oven by a post-call, now-comatose The Wife**

**thank you, The Wife.  I probably don't deserve you.

^...I'm ashamed to say this...

^^at least it's a Robin Williams line

*** people of class, taste, and deportment; e.g. readers of this blog

The Search for the Perfect Knife

I recently started carrying a pocketknife.  Got a nice little Barlow for xmas*, put it in my pocket, and realized that I used it at least daily.  It's amazing how often a small blade comes in handy.  I accidentally smuggled it to Chicago earlier in the month (it was in my carry-on luggage), and decided to mail it back to myself rather than test the TSA a second time.

Since then I've been carrying a different knife, a beat up old Swiss Army Classic that's been sitting in my desk for years.  I honestly have no idea where it came from, the tweezers and toothpick are missing, the handle looks like it's been chewed on, but the blade's sharp.  This little guy has a nail file and scissors, which come in handy from time to time.

This started me thinking about what tools I really want on a pocketknife.  Obviously there has to be a blade.  Scissors are surprisingly useful but not, I think, necessary if you have a decent blade.  I'd also like a bottle opener and corkscrew.  The traditional Swiss Army split ring, toothpick, and tweezer are nice, but not necessary.

It has to be small.  The great thing about the two knives I've carried is they're small, less than 2.5 inches long and 0.5 inch thick.  Either one disappears in your pocket until needed (which is how the Barlow wound up on the plane to Chicago with me).  I doubt that I'd keep carrying a much bigger knife for very long.

Surprisingly, Victorinox (the guys who make the Swiss Army Knife) doesn't let you custom-build a knife.  I'm not sure why.  So I'm on the lookout for the perfect knife.

Which leads me to ask my Devoted Readers:  do you carry a knife, and if so what's on it?

UPDATE:  found an old Normark in my desk (how many knives do I own?  I have no idea).  It has a blade, nail file, and bottle opener and is about 1"x3"x0.25".  We'll see how it carries.

*thanks Patrick and Karen

Movie Review

The Wife and I, in a rare moment of shared time off, took in a movie yesterday.  Monsters Vs. Aliens is the new Dreamworks offering, starring Reese Whitherspoon, Hugh Laurie, and some other folks.  The animation is pretty good, with some neat dust scenes early on, and a very good sense of perspective.  The story itself is kind of lacking; it's a fairly predictable retread of every really awful sci-fi movie you've ever seen.  Some relief is provided by frequent references to the cult classics: tron, close encounters, dr strangelove, and so on, but it's not enough to make this a film I'd watch again.  If you're really into Ed Wood you might think this is a great flick, but otherwise I'd pass.

Given the automatic one-star deduction under the Joe Bob Briggs rule, I give Monsters vs. Aliens one star.  Ted sez check it out if you really want to.

This Ought to be Good

New week, new Discussion Question:  What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?

My Number's Unlisted

An Excellent Tool for the Wasting of Time

...and they call it Facebook.  I couldn't sleep last night, started poking around online, and found an old college friend.  And some pages for old college friends I hadn't lost.  And some in-laws.  And some ex-co-workers.  And some current co-workers.  And...you get the idea.

Anyway, I'm on facebook now, although I expect I'll keep the blog open for ranting and whatnot.