Buggy Whips

I've been teaching this class for a lot of years now.

Not as a full-time job, just a side gig. Something to give a little variety to my work schedule, plus part-time jobs are very beneficial come tax time.

I've gotten pretty good at teaching this class. I enjoy it, my students seem to enjoy it, and they definitely walk out knowing more than when they came in.

So recently, the entity that owns the course I teach did a major redesign. Now, instead of moderating a carefully crafted series of lectures, discussions, demonstrations, and practical skills applications it is my job to press "play" on a DVD reader. A whole lot easier, the pay stays the same, and I don't have a sore throat the next day. But it still makes me grouchy.

I'll admit, the canned class is a lot flashier than the one I used to put on. It has well-dressed actors being very intent on their roles. It all seems mildly ludicrous to me.

I could put something here about inflexibility of the canned course, DVD players can't answer questions, yada, yada, yada. But you know all that. And it don't make no difference, 'cos John Henry's still dead. Can't fight technology.

Funny thing...For various complex reasons, I need to maintain my certification as an instructor. In order to do that, I have to sit through this amazingly irritating interactive CD that takes about 20 hours to complete, and is mostly just a sales pitch for the teaching style--in other words, about 30 seconds worth of information packed into two days of button-pushing.

Good thing I have a fallback career.

Profile Photo Contest Winner

There's a new winner in the Profile Photo Contest, and it's...Heather! Her suggestion, Optimash Prime, was considered solely on its own merits. The judge was in no way influenced by her cooking or other talents.

So congratulations Heather!

Unfair Advantage, Unfair Disadvantage

According to a recent CNN article, South African runner Oscar Pistorius is now eligible for international competition, including the Olympics. Why is this a big deal? Because he has no legs below the knee, and runs with the help of two prosthetic devices. Until recently he was barred from international competition due to a standard that barred any athlete "deemed to benefit from artificial help" from competing. This rule has recently been clarified as not applying to medically necessary prosthetic devices (it is meant to apply to athletes gaining unfair advantage from spring-loaded shoes or suchlike).

A mighty blow for the handicapped athlete? Yes, but...I think it's wrong.

Don't get me wrong. I'm very much in favor of people using whatever resources they can (legally and morally) get their hands on to overcome any challenges they may face. I just don't think that should apply to sport.

Here's my reasoning: The idea behind international athletics (as I understand it) is to determine who is the best. In the setting of this level of sport as it exists today, "best" means most able due to a combination of natural ability and hard work to develop that ability. In other words, if you don't have the natural ability, tough luck.

This ruling, like the Casey Martin decision (the golfer who sued to be able to ride a cart in PGA games due to a disability) significantly alters high-level competition to accomodate a player's natural INability. Competitions of this nature are supposed to be about ability. Based on this sort of reasoning, powerlifters who are tall should be able to lift their weight from a raised platform (otherwise they have to move it farther than their short competitors). Kaiser Andy should be able to play in the NBA, and bring a stepladder. Yankee John should be able to be a professional jockey--riding a horse on steroids to compensate for being somewhat larger than most jockeys. I should be able to play NFL football--on a dirtbike since I can't run that fast (and with a net since I can't catch, and a gun since I can't hit, and...). You get the idea.

Obviously these are ludicrous examples, but my point is that scientific advantage is scientific advantage. If we're going to make such a big stink about steroids, if marijuana is considered a performance-enhancing drug, if you can't wear Z-coils, then how can you possibly justify bioengineered special running legs?

Photo Contest Winner!

I'd like to announce the winner of the most recent Profile Photo Contest. This was a tough one, mostly because you people suck. Like I want my profile to remind me of my work or Andy's girlfriend, really. The paucity of submissions indicates that too many of you have too little free time. Quit your jobs and get on welfare, people! Taxpayers are working hard so you don't have to.

So, the winner is...ME! Just check out my profile to see the new pic, the Engineer's Holy Trinity. And watch as I use my newfound power and prestige to take over the world!

Why I'll Never be a Drug Addict

Bizarre experience the other weekend (no, not this past weekend, I'll tell you about that later). I sprained my back. No big deal, I was a little sore from a new workout and then tried to move too quickly, but my lower back just spasmed up like crazy.

Being a believer in better living through chemistry and Western medicine, I treated it. Took some ibuprofen and flexeril. For those of you who don't know, flexeril is a non-narcotic muscle relaxant. It relaxes the muscles (duh) theoretically relieving the spasm and letting them heal. It also makes you a little loopy.

So I'm looped on this stuff for the weekend and I spend the whole time just wishing it would stop. Very irritating sensation, like using a computer that's bogged down for some reason. Your brain is working slowly, and you know it. Grr.

Moreover, I missed work that Monday not because my back was still hurting, but because I was still a little fuzzy from the meds. I got up, got dressed, got in the car, drove about two blocks and realized that I shouldn't be driving, much less working. Went home and called in sick.

Fortunately, this month that's not a big deal. Any other month this year, it would have been catastrophic.

So basically, I just don't have time to be a stoner.

The MCAT, a Brief Mental Exercise for Your Amusement

Hey Everybody--
My kid-sis-in-law, It's A Long Story, is taking the MCAT on Friday. For those who don't know, the MCAT is the Medical College Admissions Test, and reliable sources maintain that it is not fun. The test location is about 2 blocks from my house.
Since I am a SUMBITCH, I will be out of town that day and not available to meet the poor child for adult beverages after she WHALES THE EVER-LOVING TAR out of that pitiful little quiz.
However, since I am not a complete BASTICH, I have secreted some icy-cold ABITA Strawberry Lager (the best seasonal beer EVER) in my refrigerator for her to relax with after she DEMONSTRATES HER COMPLETE DOMINANCE OF ALL CONCEPTS PRE-MEDICAL.
So I'm sure everyone who doesn't suck will take this opportunity to join me in wishing Mary GOOD LUCK on Friday...not that she'll need it.