Why I'll Never be a Drug Addict

Bizarre experience the other weekend (no, not this past weekend, I'll tell you about that later). I sprained my back. No big deal, I was a little sore from a new workout and then tried to move too quickly, but my lower back just spasmed up like crazy.

Being a believer in better living through chemistry and Western medicine, I treated it. Took some ibuprofen and flexeril. For those of you who don't know, flexeril is a non-narcotic muscle relaxant. It relaxes the muscles (duh) theoretically relieving the spasm and letting them heal. It also makes you a little loopy.

So I'm looped on this stuff for the weekend and I spend the whole time just wishing it would stop. Very irritating sensation, like using a computer that's bogged down for some reason. Your brain is working slowly, and you know it. Grr.

Moreover, I missed work that Monday not because my back was still hurting, but because I was still a little fuzzy from the meds. I got up, got dressed, got in the car, drove about two blocks and realized that I shouldn't be driving, much less working. Went home and called in sick.

Fortunately, this month that's not a big deal. Any other month this year, it would have been catastrophic.

So basically, I just don't have time to be a stoner.