Bizarre Illness Story

So I woke up yesterday with a severely runny nose. Not just some sniffles, I mean I was dripping like a faucet all day long. I figured my allergies were acting up, took some sudafed and afrin, and went on with my life.

The bizarre part is that I was also sleep deprived from a recent switch to nights, stiff and sore from working out. So I spent a certain amount of brainpower trying to figure out if what I was feeling was really just a combination of allergies, muscle overuse, and sleep deprivation, or if I had a summer cold.

Actually got a reasonable amount of sleep today, and now I feel fine. No muscle aches, no malaise. Whatever was wrong with my nose cleared up as well. Given the sudden onset and cessation of mucus, I wonder if I didn't get something stuck up there while I was sleeping that cleared spontaneously...I dunno.

Can I Get a "HELL Yeah"!?!

In case you're wondering what I want for Kwanzaa...

For more of the same, follow this link:

http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/showthread.php?t=66428

Harry Potter 7

Just finished it. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by how some of the trickier plot points worked out. I won't say any more for fear of spoilers.

How Did They Know Which End to Stick the Colonoscope In?

Cheney, Briefly Assuming Bush’s Duties, Says He Enjoyed The Downtime



Winner Of The First-Ever National Press Club Award For Humor
BOROWITZ REPORT

Cheney, Briefly Assuming Bush’s Duties, Says He Enjoyed The Downtime

President’s Colon Procedure Offered Welcome Break From Grueling Vice-Presidential Schedule
Vice-President Dick Cheney, having briefly assumed President Bush’s duties while the President underwent a routine colon procedure on Saturday, told reporters today that he “enjoyed the downtime immensely.” The two hours and fifteen minutes spent doing Bush’s job were “incredibly relaxing,” Mr. Cheney said, adding that they were a welcome relief from his exacting Vice-Presidential schedule. Invoking the Twenty-fifth Amendment to the Constitution Saturday morning, Mr. Bush transferred to Mr. Cheney all of his presidential responsibilities, which meant that Mr. Cheney spent Saturday jogging, going to the gym, and hitting a ball for Mr. Bush’s dog to retrieve. In addition, Mr. Cheney called the nations of East Timor and Luxembourg “evil,” stumbling briefly over the pronunciation of Luxembourg. Finally, as Mr. Bush’s colon procedure was winding down, Mr. Cheney made some remarks about the Japanese economy, mistakenly using the word “devaluation” instead of “deflation,” sending the NIKKEI stock market into a tailspin. All in all, Mr. Cheney said he emerged from his brief tenure as President rested and refreshed, ready to plunge back into his demanding Vice-Presidential workload. As for the President, Mr. Bush’s doctors pronounced his procedure a success, but said that they were having difficulty determining whether or not the President’s anesthesia had fully worn off. Mr. Bush’s doctors indicated that when they asked the President the standard post-operative questions – such as, “What is the capital of the United States?” – Mr. Bush got only two out of five correct. “Before the operation, he got three out of five right,” one doctor said. Elsewhere, a Mexican candy has been recalled after containing traces of lead, in a sign of Mexico’s ongoing effort to compete with China’s candy industry.

And the Winner is...

Yankee John, for his finger/horseshoe caption. Congratulations, John.

In further good news, John has resumed his caption contest, so I will be taking a much-deserved break from the rigors of searching Google Images for something interesting.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

NEW and IMPROVED Caption Contest

Congratulations to Andy for his hip-hop inspired caption, which won last week's caption contest.

The rest of you cannot let this travesty stand.

Good luck!

Winning the War on Terror

The Chicago Tribune reports that an undercover federal agency managed to scam the Nuclear Regulatory Commission out of a license to build dirty bombs (the kind that use conventional explosives to spread radioactive material over an area). Wow, I'm glad all those Wal-Mart Security rejects doing strip-searches for the TSA are keeping me safe from terrorists.

Don't believe me? Read the article:

U.S. agents' fake firm got OK to buy nuclear material
New York Times News Service Published July 12, 2007
WASHINGTON -- Undercover congressional investigators set up a bogus company and obtained a license from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission that would have allowed them to buy the radioactive materials needed for a so-called dirty bomb.The investigators, from the Government Accountability Office, demonstrated that the security measures to prevent radioactive materials from getting into the wrong hands are insufficient, according to a GAO report, which is scheduled for release Thursday.
"Given that terrorists have expressed an interest in obtaining nuclear material, the Congress and the American people expect licensing programs for these materials to be secure," said Gregory Kutz, an investigator at the Government Accountability Office.The bomb the investigators could have built would not have caused widespread damage, but could have had serious economic consequences.The undercover operation involved a fake West Virginia-based construction company. Its only asset was a mailbox.Nuclear Regulatory Commission officials did not visit the company or try to interview its executives in person.The license, mailed in March, was then modified to remove a limit on the amount of radioactive material the firm could buy, the report says.With that forged document, the auditors arranged to purchase industrial equipment containing radioactive substances americium 241 and cesium 137. Auditors called off the ruse before the devices were delivered.
Copyright © 2007, Chicago Tribune

I Missed Another One...

This year's Running of the Bulls was apparently the bloodiest ever...

PAMPLONA, Spain (Reuters) -- Seven people, including two Americans, a Mexican, a Pole and a Norwegian, were gored on Thursday in the bloodiest day yet at this year's annual running of the bulls festival in the northern Spanish town of Pamplona, organizers said.

A runner is gored by a fighting bull during the sixth day of the San Fermin bull run in Pamplona, northern Spain

A German, a Frenchman and three Spaniards were also treated for other injuries after the sixth day of the event, in which thousands of runners, mostly men drunk after all-night reveling, run through Pamplona's streets as the bulls are herded to a bullring.
Three of the injured men, including the Mexican who was gored in the abdomen and thigh, were in very serious condition and needed surgery.
The San Fermin running of the bulls is an ancient tradition. It was made famous by Ernest Hemingway's novel "The Sun also Rises", a semi-autobiographical account of an alcohol-fueled visit to the festival by a group of squabbling British and American friends in the 1920s.

Caption Contest

Since Yankee John has apparently fallen off the face of the earth, I have taken it upon myself to stage the next Caption Contest. So here you go, brave explorers:

Technology

My phone accepts text messages.

This is not unusual, I know. What is unusual is that it won't tell me who the message is from. So I keep getting texts like "how was work today, call me" and suchlike. The wording on some of these texts indicates that the sender actually knows me, but I have no way to return the message.

So I'm putting the word out. If you text me, include your name in the text 'cos otherwise I'll ignore it.

Oh, and Sprint sucks.

I Couldn't Have Said it Better...

Regarding the Scooter Libby pardon:

"[I]f it was a drug-related crime, then prison time is an appropriate punishment.
But treason-realted perjury and obstruction? By a white guy? He’s a republican, so that’s A-OK."

I find myself agreeing with Hillary Clinton *shudder*. Note--Clinton did not say the above, but did yammer something with similar sentiment, if less-well-worded. The above is from Law Blog.

GWB has definitely jumped the shark.

Hey John!

You dead or something?

Today is the First Day of the Rest of Your Career

Today I went to work. Not a big deal, right? I go to work most days. But today was different. Today marked the first day of the last stage of my training.

That's right folks. For the next three years* (excepting vacation time and a couple of months) I will be doing what I signed up to do. And, if today is any indication, making an absolute mess of it.

I was overwhelmed all day long. Any of the individual issues I had to deal with would have been no big deal, but all together I was SWAMPED. Everytime I thought I was about to drain the marsh, somebody backed up another truckful of alligators. I moved at just shy of a sprint for eight straight hours (stopping only briefly to enjoy the lovely repast that The Wife packed for me) and managed to do a sub-par job with my best effort.

Despite that, all my bosses swear up and down that I'm doing great. So that's good. They maintain that I'm supposed to feel overwhelmed at this point, that the training program is four years long for a reason, I'll improve with practice, blah, blah, blah. Of course, if I was the sort of person who listened when people complimented me, I wouldn't have gotten this far in my career.

All that being said, I can't stop grinning. This was a good day.


*The Wife points out that it's a fairly long stage. But long stages are one of the things she loves about me.

Random Things I've Heard Today

"Look! It's foamy at the top!"

"That's it. I'm NOT having kids. The rusty coathanger goes BACK by the bed."